The fear of failure is something that is not fun to live with. Often times, it stems from something an individual feels lacking. At least for me it does. Considering that I am now a postdoc, being afraid to fail is quite comical. I mean, just getting through graduate school, if one is successful 10% of the time, one is indeed a badass. It does not get much better as a postdoc, except, you now have a lot more experience so you do not "fail" as much. You still screw up, but you have a lot more victories.
But I am not talking about successes and failures on the benchtop; I am talking about life. How many times during the course of a year, do you have a chance to go after something you really want, to after it with everything you have in you, to feel like you did everything in your power to do your best?
Once? Twice? Thrice? I dunno. But I have one of those opportunities tomorrow.
For as much as I love football, I am not an athlete; I don't get to suit up and play ball on Saturdays for my alma mater. For me, to suit up consists of wearing a pressed shirt, sharp suit, and spiffy tie. Basically, I get a chance to be like Barney Stinson tomorrow and suit up.
So in my mind, it has been like my gameday. I have prepared as thoroughly as I can. I have looked over my presentation numerous times, just as a coach goes through his game plans. I have already traced my route for Friday morning, much like pre-planning the first 10-15 plays of a game.
What more do I need to do? Oh yes, a banana and granola bar to eat at 2 opportune times throughout the day - it is like my gatorade. My aftershave balm is similar to whatever that black stuff football players under their eyes to reduce the glare of the sun. Actually, I guess that is more like my sunglasses! HAAR.
So, if I am prepared, why am I so worried about failing? I guess it is because there is a lot on the line. This opportunity is exactly what I have been looking for since ~ Feb. 2008,when I re-started my job hunt. I realized what was really important and what I enjoyed doing. I guess I just don't want to experience what the alternative to success is regarding this juncture.
I guess there is really nothing else for me to do, except go to the gym tonight (TCU vs. BYU, should be a good game), eat a nice dinner (mmmmm... burrito?), play a video game to rest up, and sleep well.
Let me end with a quote from Richard Nixon's resignation speech, which I have really liked throughout my life. I will address this topic one day, why Nixon is one of the best presidents we have ever had.
"Sometimes I have succeeded and sometimes I have failed, but always I have taken heart from what Theodore Roosevelt once said about the man in the arena, 'whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, [...]'"
It is this opportunity tomorrow, to be the "man in the arena" that makes me anxious, nervous, sharp, and festive all at the same time. I look forward to the challenges of tomorrow.
===============================
P.S. A blog post about failures would not be complete without mention of Oklahoma and their punk punter's fake of a roughing penalty. It was quite hilarious to watch live. It did not matter, OU sucks, and they lost. They're a good team, though, and so like the cockroaches they are, they will be back. This is a sign from El Arroyo in Austin, TX, which is a favorite place to eat for out of towners who are craving Tex-Mex. Personally, I like Trudy's better, but El Arroyo gets props for the signage.
But I am not talking about successes and failures on the benchtop; I am talking about life. How many times during the course of a year, do you have a chance to go after something you really want, to after it with everything you have in you, to feel like you did everything in your power to do your best?
Once? Twice? Thrice? I dunno. But I have one of those opportunities tomorrow.
For as much as I love football, I am not an athlete; I don't get to suit up and play ball on Saturdays for my alma mater. For me, to suit up consists of wearing a pressed shirt, sharp suit, and spiffy tie. Basically, I get a chance to be like Barney Stinson tomorrow and suit up.
So in my mind, it has been like my gameday. I have prepared as thoroughly as I can. I have looked over my presentation numerous times, just as a coach goes through his game plans. I have already traced my route for Friday morning, much like pre-planning the first 10-15 plays of a game.
What more do I need to do? Oh yes, a banana and granola bar to eat at 2 opportune times throughout the day - it is like my gatorade. My aftershave balm is similar to whatever that black stuff football players under their eyes to reduce the glare of the sun. Actually, I guess that is more like my sunglasses! HAAR.
So, if I am prepared, why am I so worried about failing? I guess it is because there is a lot on the line. This opportunity is exactly what I have been looking for since ~ Feb. 2008,when I re-started my job hunt. I realized what was really important and what I enjoyed doing. I guess I just don't want to experience what the alternative to success is regarding this juncture.
I guess there is really nothing else for me to do, except go to the gym tonight (TCU vs. BYU, should be a good game), eat a nice dinner (mmmmm... burrito?), play a video game to rest up, and sleep well.
Let me end with a quote from Richard Nixon's resignation speech, which I have really liked throughout my life. I will address this topic one day, why Nixon is one of the best presidents we have ever had.
"Sometimes I have succeeded and sometimes I have failed, but always I have taken heart from what Theodore Roosevelt once said about the man in the arena, 'whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, [...]'"
It is this opportunity tomorrow, to be the "man in the arena" that makes me anxious, nervous, sharp, and festive all at the same time. I look forward to the challenges of tomorrow.
===============================
P.S. A blog post about failures would not be complete without mention of Oklahoma and their punk punter's fake of a roughing penalty. It was quite hilarious to watch live. It did not matter, OU sucks, and they lost. They're a good team, though, and so like the cockroaches they are, they will be back. This is a sign from El Arroyo in Austin, TX, which is a favorite place to eat for out of towners who are craving Tex-Mex. Personally, I like Trudy's better, but El Arroyo gets props for the signage.
