1) My uncle passed away suddenly.
2) The Republican National Convention.
Let me address both topics.
My uncle's death this week has been hard on me, because I look at it selfishly. What does it mean for me? How much time do I have with the ones I care for, I love? Most of all it is this burning feeling, almost a guilt.
This stupid guilt I feel is ridiculous, and yet, I still have it, and it is eating me up inside.
The guilt stems from the last conversation in person I had with my grandfather, my father's father, a Yalie, go Bulldogs! He made a set of predictions of how my life would go and he stressed to me how he wanted me to keep his grandchildren, my cousins together, close-knit. In that duty, I could have done much better. I have time to remedy this, and I intend to. But right now, more than any other point in my life, I see how I have failed up to this point in executing my grandfather's wish.
My uncle had 10 children. And hence, I have 10 cousins. This is what I think about now. How do I maintain and continually develop these relationships?
I am the oldest; I should have realized this earlier, much earlier than I did.
My uncle was important to me because he gave me strength during a time I needed it the most. It was nothing he said, but more his life story. My uncle came to the U.S. when he was 16yrs old. He managed to survive, to become educated, and to raise a family.
When I came to California, I felt alone. The first friend I made was Arun, followed by Shelly. I had a family that was only in another state and accessible via an easy flight. My uncle did not have these advantages. That first year of graduate school was so difficult and so hard, I would go to bed questioning my toughness, my mental makeup. I wondered if it would just be easier to quit.
My father is not a quitter. My uncle most certainly was not, either. I got tougher and just lived, and I bloomed into the person I am suppose to be. I am happy; I just want to see my family more and be the man they need me to be.
Kiran uncle, I will always treasure your memory and value what I have learned from your example.
I cannot write anymore on this topic, I am choking up.
2) The RNC. Simply put - BRAVO. They solidified their base, and despite McCain's horrible oratory, what he said will appeal to a large segment of the population. The spin from the republicans is definitely true: Obama is no different than any other politician at this point. I still think Obama is a very decent man, and he will be a very good leader.
When was it is pre-requisite to have "experience" to become the president. Pardon my sarcasm, but then Guantanamo Bay is not a prison site, but rather a leadership training ground.
[Pardon my comment - I respect McCain and his experiences as I do all our country's illustrious vetrans, but I believe Wesley Clark's comments were right]
Personally, I am torn in terms of who to vote for. In the end, I will vote for Obama, because I simply cannot deal with certain elements of the Republican party. I have no love for the excessive liberal side of the democratic party, but I do feel it is time for certain liberal concepts to be inputted into our government.
This is not a political blog, so I am not going to go into detail, but rather, I would be glad to speak offline about them. I mentioned the RNC because I was impressed by what they were able to pull off and well, it scares me to an extent. Republicans have their stuff together and will not give up the White House easily. They view this election and the ideological differences an intellectual or ideological war. Democrats and liberals do not use those terms.
It is the difference in attitudes that explains the success of Republicans since 1980. That attitude plus solidifying a power base in middle America are the two salient reasons for the shift of power, the shift between red to blue and blue to red.
One thing is for sure, I do love our country, and I will continue doing so whether a Republican or Democrat is elected. There is simply no other place I would rather live.
This stupid guilt I feel is ridiculous, and yet, I still have it, and it is eating me up inside.
The guilt stems from the last conversation in person I had with my grandfather, my father's father, a Yalie, go Bulldogs! He made a set of predictions of how my life would go and he stressed to me how he wanted me to keep his grandchildren, my cousins together, close-knit. In that duty, I could have done much better. I have time to remedy this, and I intend to. But right now, more than any other point in my life, I see how I have failed up to this point in executing my grandfather's wish.
My uncle had 10 children. And hence, I have 10 cousins. This is what I think about now. How do I maintain and continually develop these relationships?
I am the oldest; I should have realized this earlier, much earlier than I did.
My uncle was important to me because he gave me strength during a time I needed it the most. It was nothing he said, but more his life story. My uncle came to the U.S. when he was 16yrs old. He managed to survive, to become educated, and to raise a family.
When I came to California, I felt alone. The first friend I made was Arun, followed by Shelly. I had a family that was only in another state and accessible via an easy flight. My uncle did not have these advantages. That first year of graduate school was so difficult and so hard, I would go to bed questioning my toughness, my mental makeup. I wondered if it would just be easier to quit.
My father is not a quitter. My uncle most certainly was not, either. I got tougher and just lived, and I bloomed into the person I am suppose to be. I am happy; I just want to see my family more and be the man they need me to be.
Kiran uncle, I will always treasure your memory and value what I have learned from your example.
I cannot write anymore on this topic, I am choking up.
2) The RNC. Simply put - BRAVO. They solidified their base, and despite McCain's horrible oratory, what he said will appeal to a large segment of the population. The spin from the republicans is definitely true: Obama is no different than any other politician at this point. I still think Obama is a very decent man, and he will be a very good leader.
When was it is pre-requisite to have "experience" to become the president. Pardon my sarcasm, but then Guantanamo Bay is not a prison site, but rather a leadership training ground.
[Pardon my comment - I respect McCain and his experiences as I do all our country's illustrious vetrans, but I believe Wesley Clark's comments were right]
Personally, I am torn in terms of who to vote for. In the end, I will vote for Obama, because I simply cannot deal with certain elements of the Republican party. I have no love for the excessive liberal side of the democratic party, but I do feel it is time for certain liberal concepts to be inputted into our government.
This is not a political blog, so I am not going to go into detail, but rather, I would be glad to speak offline about them. I mentioned the RNC because I was impressed by what they were able to pull off and well, it scares me to an extent. Republicans have their stuff together and will not give up the White House easily. They view this election and the ideological differences an intellectual or ideological war. Democrats and liberals do not use those terms.
It is the difference in attitudes that explains the success of Republicans since 1980. That attitude plus solidifying a power base in middle America are the two salient reasons for the shift of power, the shift between red to blue and blue to red.
One thing is for sure, I do love our country, and I will continue doing so whether a Republican or Democrat is elected. There is simply no other place I would rather live.
2 comments:
My thoughts and prayers are with you Rahul.
I think you should let the guilt go because what has been done or not done in the past can't be changed. Instead, focus on what can now be accomplished to fulfill the question you asked yourself: "How do I maintain and continually develop these relationships?"
Your post is a good reminder to all of us that we should all work to strengthen family ties because one never knows how much longer one will be on this earth.
As for the political aspect of your post, you said: "In the end, I will vote for Obama, because I simply cannot deal with certain elements of the Republican party. I have no love for the excessive liberal side of the democratic party, but I do feel it is time for certain liberal concepts to be inputted into our government."
Well said. I'm right there with you.
Rahul, blessings on your family at this painful time.
And thank you for the keen analysis.
Going back to loss of a relative, my dad lost his battle with melanoma 2 years ago.
I have been a staffer for 3 Dem Senatorial candidates and CG'96, and yet I could not get terribly motivated to work for the Obama/Biden ticket. Well, last night I watched Stand Up 2 Cancer. There was a phenomenal difference in the liveliness and degree of genuine-ness between those two responses to Lance Armstrong's critical question, what are the 3 things you will do as President to help humankind combat cancer? Now, I'm beginning to find a more serious reason to block John McCain from holding the most important job on this globe.
Again, Rahul, you hang in there.
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